"But tell God, I'm going to need a whole lot of hope keeping it together...
I'm just tryna find where to go; I'm tryna remember the way
I'm tryna get back to my home; But, I can't do this on my own
That's why I'm just trusting in you; Cuz' I don't know where else to go
And, I don't know what else to do; Just fight a little longer my friend
It's all worth it in the end..."
"And I don't know all of the outcomes; Don't know what happens tomorrow But when that ocean of doubt comes; Don't let me drown in my sorrow
No - don't let the fear tell you that you can't fight this...
You'll never be alone; Just fight a little longer my friend; It's all worth it in the end..."
And so here I am in the prayer room drinking from the well of refreshing worship and processing my life as a Canadian. The tears continue to burst forth, but tears are the language of transition and I must choose to own my feelings and be faithful with my heart in order for this transition to be a means of transformation (Grace Points, p39).
Wilderness terrain is no place for pretense, for stuffing down feelings and slogging forward courageously (p32).
We cry through our prayers and pray through our tears, and God waters the desert soil of our heart. God's heart bends toward the wanderer, the exile, the homeless - toward us as we roam this wilderness (p34-8).
And in my quest for a home, I am learning to make my home in Him. I really don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future! I’m homesick, this is hard and I’m almost at the finish line! And in the final stretch, the book, Grace and Forgiveness, is just what I need!
As I speak life over this whole situation, as I dig for gold in the dirt, as I focus on the things I’m thankful for in my relationship with my dad and as I surrender to being Fathered by God in the process, He will help me live from a supernatural place of love and unconditional forgiveness.
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, and he has anointed me to be hope for the poor, freedom for the brokenhearted, and new eyes for the blind, and to preach to prisoners, ‘You are set free!’ I have come to share the message of Jubilee, for the time of God’s great acceptance has begun.” Luke 4:18